This is not the week for easy fixes for me. Yesterday, I had a unique experience with Javascript that made me die a little inside. To visualize, imagine trying to translate a book from English to Spanish, but instead of writing out the Spanish copy, you must instead fashion a complicated set of mirrors that project individual letters from the English pages onto the wall en español. Now imagine that you have fat fingers and that they are covered with Cheeto dust, so as you fumble around with these tiny mirrors, you inadvertently muck them up with grease.
Will Roegge
Published June 29, 2009, 4:29 pm | by Slip Angel
Have you ever made a mental note to check someone's website out, but procrastinate for months, all the while knowing you're missing out on something amazing? @willroegge has been sitting in my Twitter list since last October.
Hearing stories of amazing drift edits and pro camerawork, I was attracted to Will's work because I happen to do some video work myself—boring, shitty video that involves talking to people you've never heard of, about things you don't give a damn about. Having no choice of subject or influence as DP, I love to dream of what I'd could accomplish on my own.
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Who Makes the Best Car in the World? A Fat Man from Kentucky
Published June 28, 2009, 8:49 pm | by Slip Angel
In a segment dedicated to 'Merican muscle cars, Jeremy Clarkson accidentally falls in love with a Corvette ZR1, and vows to buy one of his own. Apparently even Clarkson isn't immune to cheap plastic propelled by ungodly amounts of horsepower. What's probably most unusual is how he refers to the ZR1's looks as garish and overstated; he obviously hasn't been in contact with the American tuner crowd. The looks of the ZR1 is downright sedated by US standards.
Top Gear Reviews the Free-Spirited Essence of Italian Craftsmanship and Other Such Bullocks...
Published June 28, 2009, 8:43 pm | by Slip Angel
Jeremy Clarkson doesn't like anything Ferrari's put out recently. Too many wires, computers and knobs are visible on the surface, distracting the driver from actually driving and instead focusing them on managing a dozen computer controls.
And then, he drives an Enzo. Despite being welded by a high-school freshman and having more computer controls that the original lunar module, the Enzo turns out to be an amazing car when you just shut-the-hell-up and drive it like a sports car.
Lamborghini on Ferrari Lap Times: Who Cares?
Published June 28, 2009, 8:37 pm | by Slip Angel
Amazing looks and performance? Check. Luxury without wasted weight? Check. Crazy top speed? Double check.
Ferrari-like reliability issues? Remains to be seen. I'll tell you after I take delivery on my own Murcielago.
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Top Gear Sets Top Lap Time in 'Silly, Ugly' Apollo S Gumpert
Published June 28, 2009, 8:31 pm | by Slip Angel
The Apollo S Gumpert is named like a German intestinal disease, looks like it was designed by SEGA of Japan, and seems to be even scarier to handle than a Konesiegg filled with Spitzer-quality whores—which incidentally would just be one woman, or two anorexic ones sharing a seat. Despite this, the Stig works his way through Richard Hammond's feeble modifications and pilots the Gumpert to Top Gear's fastest lap time. Shortly afterwards, fiberglass body kit sales tripled in the United States, yet AWD 500+ horsepower cars saw very little increase in sales. Go figure.
Top Gear Crowns Audi R8 Best Entry-Level Supercar
Published June 28, 2009, 8:20 pm | by Slip Angel
The R8 is arguably more Lamborghini than German, but at about half the price and similar performance, it didn't take Jeremy Clarkson long to vouch for the up and coming 2 seater. Although Top Gear is currently of the position that Audi has replaced BMW as the car "most likely driven by a dick," their stereotyping doesn't prevent Jeremy from blowing the doors off of a "Dick" in a Porsche.
New Millenium Sports Car Brawl
Published June 28, 2009, 8:14 pm | by Slip Angel
One of my favorite Top Gear segments of all time, the boys take to the countryside to flog entry-level sports cars between trips to the pub. This much alcohol and driving would never make it to American television. Shame. The Clarkson champions my personal favorite, the original AP S2000, against a pair of competitors: The flame-styled BMW Z4 and the still-looks-like-every-other-Boxster Porsche. There's no technical analysis, which is good considering you'd get more speed out of an Mitsubishi Evolution for the same money.
Top Gear Drives a Toyta Prius, Isn't Impressed
Published June 28, 2009, 8:06 pm | by Slip Angel
Due to my daily submersion into all things eco-friendly, you can probably guess that the very hem of my soul has become frayed by the hollow ideology and self-righteous bigotry I often endure. What I love most about the Toyota Prius is that it is meant to be an embodiment of the entire green movement, allowing you to attack it with maximum effect. Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear performs flawlessly.
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